Victims Coz we have different hair.

The blog this time is different from what ive wrote before, im writing this as I sit here and think, these are my thoughts of how im feeling at this moment, how scared I am how I fear what my husband may do, how do I protect him from what they are turning him into.

You all may know some background, we live on a street that is not very friendly, they are a lot of chavs around here and our house backs onto a cut, infact its the main cut for the area, so our house not only backs onto this cut, it goes around the side and around the back of our house and so we have no protection.  Yes we have 6ft fences up but that dont protection from top windows and well all you have too do is stand back into the cut and you can aim nicely at our kitchen window.

None of our families know what we are going from, Neils only family around here are elderley and if they knew what we are going through then im afraid it would be too much for them, his gran is already drained from everyday life and so there is no way we can tell her what Neil is going through and she is very protective of her family and fear this would just upset her too much.

Neils dad lives in Oman and so we cant turn too him, yes we can speak on MSN but thats about it, and my family sadly although they would do what they could with dad having a stroke and now being in a stroke unit he aint able too do anything, my mum has her own problems and there mainly health related and I know if I said can we all move in there tomorrow then she would probably welcome us with open arms, grumble a little but welcome us.

Basically our story starts over a year back now, ive xplained that we live on a cut and so have always been the "target" for local chavs and youths too hang out, no matter how many times these youths are moved on they come back, no matter how may petitions we get too close the cut, the council always gets opposed by that 1 person that goes through the cut once a month to get a loaf of bread at 7pm and well thats all it takes that 1 person to prove that they need this cut open on a night time and they wont close it, even though people can walk left or right too get to the shops and take an extra 3 mins on their journey.

Well it started last August we heard some stones thrown of the side of the house and so we rush out too of course no one there, well this started once and ended up as a nightly occurence for 6 weeks.  3 times a night we were being harrassed by stones being thrown off the house.

We could hear them shouting come on hippy and you hippy freak (ive left the language out), so we knew then it was based on the fact that Neil has long hair that we were being targetted.  Now ill say this now, yes neil has long hair and its his choice, we dont wear black eye liner we dont dress Gothic, we dont go round in face paint, he is simply a 30 year old man that wears jeans and t shirts and has long hair pulled back into a ponytail...

Now why should we be targetted for a ponytail, should we start targetting people because they have short hair, should we target bald people, why are people soo horrible too people with ponytails and treat them like outcasts, yet when its on someone famous a footballer, suddenly half the nations and youth have started growing their hair and then its cool...

As you can imagine at this time we were also going through tests for neil and cancer and waiting a scan too see how far his brothers cancer had developed, wont go into that but ill publish what Neil wrote at the time so you can understand how a grown man was suddenly broken.

The police were of no use, they said there hands were tied and too simply keep calling them whenever it happened, it got too the stage where they were here 3 times a night every night, they just turn up go through the routine and say call us back if anything happens and we were like see you in a hour.

18-09-07, 21:33

.... can't really put it into words. 

Had little shits pelting the windows with stones. For 4 ****ing weeks! Official line is that you can do **** all. Well I have video evidence. Called the police out on Sunday. 999 job. They came out this morning. Yes - that's right. THIS MORNING. 

I'm stressed to ****. I mean I can feel my heart ripping out my chest. I'm burning up. I can feel my body go numb. I'd like to think that I can control my temper. I'm going to break. Soon. I've jumped in the car tonight. I got up to 120mph. Twice. Had the police out looking for me. To stop me getting a hold of them. So it takes 2 days for them to get out when I call them, but 2 mins when I get called about. 

The good thing now is that I know where they live. How would yo feel about a 6 foot 4 and a half inch bloke turning up at your door step at 8 am in the morning. Apperently they think it's funny as I chase them. Well I never chased them in 4 weeks. I did the 2nd time and it calmed down for 3 days. Now I don't have to chase them. I just need to walk to their houses now. I'm sure that a little chat will put a fear of Neilll into them.

Then I have to put up with work. I'm just waiting for the day I can leave. I made my mind a while ago to leave. Too much politics now. I've done what I can do and need a drastic career change. Failing that a massive payrise (needs to be in £0000, not £0) to keep me there! I've got a massive job that's been on hold and then just problem after problem. I can't be assed now with them. 

I wake up and feel like not going into work. Then when I finish there I have to deal with little shits that I can do nothing about. Only time I get to relax is the after 10pm and then I'm too tired to do anything or spend anytime relaxing. 

I'm eagerly awaiting news on my test. My bro is in on Thurs to get scanned again. A week after we will know what's what. 

So I don't know whether to slit my wrists or other peoples throats? Maybe I should make a poll? I'm not in a good place.                      

 

Now please explain too me how people can do this now at the same time, the person resonsible for this started too brag about it around school.  My daughter goes too that school and of course they started asking my daughter if we were enjoying being terrorised and it wasnt going too stop.  Of course my daughter then passed this info onto the local wardens and police who in their words cant do a thing as they cant prove its them and that its all hearsay.  Of course they then turned on my daughter and she was told that if she showed her face at school thenshe would be harmed and was going to get a good kicking.  I was that scared I pulled her out of school and sent her up to live with relatives awway for a month until the school board interviened and could assure me of her safety..  

It was no good saying take her out of that school as these youths were scattered amonth the schools in the borough and so no matter what school she was at, she would come across someone that was throwing stones at the house and part of the gang..

I look back and remember that I had too lock the doors to keep Neil in from chasing them, I remember the stories of fear and of people being knifed and jsut waited thinking its going to be Neil next as I battled too keep him in the house.  Have you ever seen a grown man sit shaking and crying coz he is broken?  I tell you its hell

This was a post that I wrote at the time after 5 weeks, I was broken I was a wreck I had just lost it, they have drove us mad, we still couldnt tell the family as we couldnt and we were stuck in Hell thats all I could describe it as, infact Hell would have been a welcome relief from what we were going through.

My post as I wrote that day

20-09-07, 20:22

Well today my neighbour over the road seen me returning from buying an onion(red one) and he was shouting, and I couldnt even hear him I was so lost in my own world, so he ran up and said "right you in mine" *theres an offer*..

anyway he says right spill the beans and get talking now, as he had seen the police there every night and said right now time to start talking as your neighbours and theres no way your going through this when we can help.......anyway it turns out that his misses Michelle knows the mums of a couple of the culprits and their nephew that lives with them knows the ringleader.... 


So today she said leave it with me and ill get this sorted....


3.45 today I have one mother knocking on my door a very very angry mother, who could not have been more apologetic about things.. I showed her the tape with her son on it throwing stones at the house... (last night they actually tried to open my front door and laughed at us).. well that made her worse..

she then left here and said that she was going to deal with him in private and rest assured if he was seen within 10 foot of the house come and get her....

My neighbour then comes over and said that she was that disgusted with him, that she had dragged him around everyones house that was doing this and made him tell the parents what him and his mates had been doing..


Now tonight its all een quiet so far, no dead snails smeared on the window, no stones of the windows and no shouting of "****en" hippy...


Now we still have the one ring leader too sort out, but their nephew who is 18 says leave that one too me and ill get him sorted as soon as I see him


I tell u just to have a peaceful night has been such a relief, me and neil actually smiled about 10 mins ago...... something we have not done in 5 weeks


Its the weekend tomorow and this is only 1 night, so not holding out too much hope yet... but please god if you do exist please let this continue.

Well for a few months we had peace it was lovely, we still had the youths in the cut but at least we felt like we were not the victim anymore, then our neighbours over the road moved and we thought no please dont go as they really helped us, they kept a look out on a night time and we felt safe with them, once they moved we just felt like that safety blanket had gone.

Well 3 weeks ago yesterday 6 october i think it was, we were sitting here and BANG the 1st thing both me and neil done was duck down and then look up at the ceiling as we thought that one of the lightbulbs had been blown out with such force but no all the lightbulbs were intact, then neil noticed glass on the floor, and when we looked up the front window had been shot out (see the photo at the top of this post)..

We then feared for our kids, the house went up for sale that next day, we cant afford too move but we cant afford too stay here, Neil finally opened up to his dad and told him what had happened about the shot, his dad still dont half of what has happened as im sure if he fully knew then he would have had Neil out of here ages ago and well neil probably would get a wrap around the knuckles for not confessing sooner about this instead of going through our own private hell and just smiling when ever we go round to his grans or pretending that everything is fine around his family.

Last night the stones started again, we knew it was coming, we will always be a target here unless we move, truth is I dont think that either of us has the energy too do anything about it, last night neil went out with a steel bar, I am petriefied for him, im petrified of what he will do if he catches these people, im scared for him.

So am I a broken person yes, my personality has gone, I dont longer get dressed up, I have nothing left for excpet my family, we no longer go out, we have xmas coming up and not a penny in the bank (oh look shes pleading poverty again) as its all gone on HIP packs and getting this house on the market....

We are both suffering health wise, Neil is not the same man, he is nervous edgy, cant settle, is short in temper and i personally dont know how long before he cracks, I myself are now a regular at the doctor, I am now on prescription tablets for anxiety and stress, my hair is falling out and im now so thin that you can see the top of my scalp showing through and its all down to stress... Stress of sitting here waiting, just waiting for that moment when the bang off your window happens again, i tell you I woudlnt even wish this on these people that are harassing and torturing us, yes I describe it as torture as thats what our lives are like here.

I sit here writing this and the police have just been again and are "investigating" so in the meantime I shall sit here and wait for the house to be stoned again tonight and ill battle too lock the doors and keep my husband safe.

So the house is on the market, as is everyone elses and well you can nicer areas than this for half the cost, and so were stuck here until someone comes and rescues us, thats how we see it were not moving were being rescued, I just hope its not too long before we are rescued.

This is no longer a home, its just a house a house that has us scared and paranoid, a home is something that you love to be in, somewhere that you feel safe, somewhere where you can sit and feel relaxed and want too be there.  We stopped calling this home last year its now not a home, its a house infact we call in by the name of the street we live, so its not even a house now its a place where we are trapped and tortured.

Does anyone out there know of a guardian angel or way out of this hell as we sure need it right now